7 minute read
Once you’ve decided you want to try therapy, the next question should be simple: how do you find the right person?
In practice it rarely feels that way. There are directories with hundreds of listings. There are alphabet soups of qualifications after people’s names. There are dozens of different therapy types to wade through. And underneath all of it is the quiet pressure of choosing the wrong person and wasting time, money, and emotional energy on something that doesn’t help.
This post is here to cut through that. Here’s what actually matters when choosing a therapist online — and what matters much less than most people think.
Start with the relationship, not the method
The single most important thing research tells us about therapy is this: the quality of the relationship between you and your therapist predicts the outcome more than any other factor — including the specific approach or method used.
This is worth sitting with, because most people start their search the other way around. They look at the type of therapy first — CBT, psychodynamic, person-centred — and treat the therapist almost as interchangeable within that category. The evidence suggests that’s the wrong way round.
What matters most is whether you feel safe with this person. Whether you feel heard. Whether you can be honest with them — even about the things that are hardest to say. Whether there’s enough of a sense of ease and trust that you can actually do the work.
That doesn’t mean qualifications and approach don’t matter — they do. But they come second. A highly qualified therapist you can’t open up to will help you less than a well-trained therapist with whom you feel genuinely at ease.
So when you’re choosing a therapist, the first question to ask yourself after any contact — a consultation call, a first session, even reading someone’s website — is simply: do I feel like I could be honest with this person?
Qualifications and accreditation — what to actually look for
With that said, qualifications do matter. Therapy is an unregulated profession in the UK, which means that in theory anyone can call themselves a therapist or counsellor without any training whatsoever. Knowing what to look for protects you from that.
Professional body membership is your first filter. In the UK, the main bodies to look for are:
The BACP (British Association for Counselling and Psychotherapy) and the NCPS (National Counselling and Psychotherapy Society) are two of the most widely recognised. The UKCP (UK Council for Psychotherapy) is also well regarded, particularly for psychotherapists. Membership of these bodies means the therapist has met training requirements, works within an ethical framework, and is subject to professional oversight and complaints procedures.
Accredited status goes further. To become accredited with a body like the NCPS or BACP, a therapist must have completed a recognised training course, accumulated a significant number of supervised clinical hours, and passed a detailed assessment process. Accredited status is not automatic — it’s earned, and it’s a meaningful signal of professional commitment and competence. I hold Professional Accredited states with NCPS.
When you’re looking at a therapist’s profile, check that they are a member of a recognised body — and ideally that they hold or are working towards accredited status. Most therapists will display this clearly on their website or directory listing.
Training and experience also matters. How long have they been practising? What training have they completed? Do they have experience with the kind of thing you’re dealing with? Most therapists work with a broad range of issues, but if you’re coming with something specific — grief, a particular kind of relationship difficulty, anxiety with a clear pattern — it’s worth checking whether this is territory they know well.
One approach or many? The case for integrative therapy
When you’re looking at a therapist’s approach, you’ll often see one of two things: either they specialise in a single method (CBT-only, for instance), or they describe themselves as integrative — drawing on multiple approaches depending on what the client needs.
Neither is inherently better. But for most people, particularly those coming with complex, long-standing, or multifaceted difficulties, an integrative approach tends to offer more flexibility.
A CBT-only therapist will apply CBT. A person-centred therapist will stay within a person-centred frame. An integrative therapist will use what actually fits — bringing in CBT tools when they’re useful, drawing on person-centred depth when that’s what’s needed, reaching for psychodynamic thinking when patterns need understanding rather than just managing.
If you’ve tried one type of therapy before and felt like something was missing, an integrative approach is often worth exploring. This post on what integrative talking therapy is explains it in more detail.
Online therapy — does it actually work?
Yes. The research is clear on this, and it’s worth stating plainly because a lot of people still carry the assumption that face-to-face is inherently better.
For the vast majority of issues people bring to therapy — anxiety, depression, low self-worth, relationship difficulties, stress, grief, life transitions — online therapy delivers comparable outcomes to in-person work. The therapeutic relationship builds just as well through a screen as it does in a room. The work is just as real.
There are some practical advantages to working online that are worth naming. No travel. No waiting rooms. No need to hold yourself together in public before or after a session. You’re in your own space, which for many people — particularly those dealing with anxiety or those who find it hard to open up in unfamiliar environments — actually makes it easier to be honest.
It also opens up access in a meaningful way. You’re not limited to therapists within a reasonable commute of where you live. You can choose based on fit — the person who feels right — rather than geography.
What you do need is a stable internet connection, a reasonably private space, and 50 minutes of uninterrupted time. That’s genuinely all.
Practical things worth checking before you book
Once you’ve found a therapist who looks like a reasonable fit, there are a few practical things worth confirming before you commit to anything:
Availability — do they have sessions at times that work for your life? Consistency matters in therapy. Weekly sessions at a time you can reliably protect are better than sporadic sessions squeezed in wherever they’ll fit.
Fee and cancellation policy — be clear on what a session costs and what happens if you need to cancel. A clear, fair cancellation policy is a sign of professional structure, not inflexibility.
Free initial consultation — many therapists, including myself, offer a free initial consultation before the first paid session. This is worth taking up. It gives you a low-pressure opportunity to get a sense of the person and how they work before making any commitment.
How they describe their work — read their website or profile carefully. Does the way they describe therapy resonate with you? Does it feel like they’re talking to someone like you? A therapist’s website tells you a lot about how they think and communicate — trust your instincts about whether the language and tone feel like a fit.
What to trust — and what to let go of
A few things that often feel important but matter less than people think:
Gender — for some people, working with a therapist of a particular gender is important and worth factoring in. For most people, the fit and warmth of the individual matters more. The post on men and therapy touches on this — it’s worth a read if gender feels relevant to your decision.
Age and experience — a more experienced therapist isn’t automatically a better one. What matters is the quality of their training, their ongoing professional development, and how present and attuned they are in the room. Some of the most effective therapeutic work is done by therapists who are still relatively early in their careers but who are genuinely engaged in the work.
A perfect match on paper — sometimes the therapist who ticks every box doesn’t feel right in the room, and the one you almost didn’t contact feels like exactly the right person. The paper credentials are a filter, not a guarantee. Trust how it actually feels.
What if the first person isn’t right?
It happens, and it’s worth knowing before you start that it’s completely normal.
Not every therapist is right for every person. If after two or three sessions something still feels off — you feel judged, unheard, or like the sessions aren’t going anywhere — it’s entirely reasonable to try someone else. The research is clear that not finding the right fit with the first therapist doesn’t mean therapy won’t work for you. It usually just means you haven’t found your person yet.
A good therapist will also welcome this conversation. If you raise a concern about how the work is going, they should take it seriously — not dismiss it or become defensive. That responsiveness is itself a sign of a good therapeutic relationship.
How I work — and whether I might be the right fit
I’m an integrative counsellor and psychotherapist, accredited with the NCPS and working online with individuals across the UK and internationally. I blend person-centred, CBT, psychodynamic, and Gestalt approaches — using what fits the person in front of me rather than applying a fixed method to everyone.
I offer a free initial consultation so you can get a sense of how I work and decide whether it feels right — no obligation, no pressure. If you’d like to know more about what a first session involves, this post walks you through it clearly.
If something here resonates, the next step is simply getting in touch.
[Book your free consultation here] — online sessions available worldwide
Gareth Taylor is an integrative counsellor and psychotherapist working online with individuals across the UK and internationally. He blends person-centred, CBT, psychodynamic, and Gestalt approaches to support people with anxiety, depression, low self-worth, relationship difficulties, and life transitions.
